If I were an all-powerful, evil god:
I'd kill people at random. For no reason at all. At every age. And I'd do it in a variety of ways.
Car accidents. Plane crashes. Slipping and falling and hitting the head in just the right place.
I'd let babies be born with hideous conditions guaranteed to kill them, just to fuck with people.
Some I'd let suffer. Some I'd kill instantly. Some I'd just maim permanently until they died of complications from those injuries. Some I'd let off Scott free with only the memory of how close they came to buying the farm. Again, for no reason.
I'd destroy things at random. Again, for no reason at all. Hurricanes? Tsunamis? Earthquakes? Wildfires? Plagues? Droughts? Floods? Whatever I was in the mood for.
When these random sufferings or injustices took place, I'd blame the people I'd created for that suffering. I'd say things like: "See? You could've prevented this, but you didn't because you rejected me and I withdrew my protection." I'd also say things like "who are you to question me?"
I'd have a book of rules. And I'd send those rules through random intermediaries that people could easily confuse with lunatics. And rather than one copy in one language written in clear prose that everyone could easily understand with no room whatsoever for misinterpretation, I'd put it in multiple languages, rely on translators to interpret it, and then sit back with glee as wars erupted over what my will actually was.
I'd create people with sexual drives and instincts and various degrees of orientation, then set the rules to work in opposition to these things.
I'd create imperfect people, and command them to be perfect or face eternal damnation after death.
I'd offer to relieve them of the threat of this eternal damnation in exchange for their everything: their identity, their loyalty, their reasoning, their basic needs. Their life would have to be dedicated to praising and serving me every day until they died. At which time, I'd reward them for their years of faithful service by letting them come live with me so they could praise me and serve my needs up front and in person for all eternity.
Now, if I were an all-powerful good god:
I'd ask you to do nothing, and in return, I'd give you something that you could use in this life: cars, money, real estate, a gift certificate to that Brazilian steakhouse your buddy was bragging about, a date with that lady from the AT&T ads, two weeks in Bora Bora. Something.
As far as interfering with your life, I'd pretty much leave you alone. Unless you started fucking up really bad.
My rules would be simple, and in many cases, instinctual. In line with your humanity, not in opposition to it. Don't harm children. Don't make unwanted sexual advances. Don't kill anything without a damn good reason. Don't bother people. Respect people's space.
I'd give you really cool music to listen to. Not just stuff about how awesome I was.
I'd give you really good movies to watch, not just poorly acted, poorly told stories based on chain-letter memes that turned into full blown suburban legends.
And if someone tried to cause harm to someone else that was incapable of self-defense, I'd stop it. Every single time. Not just on those random occasions where I felt like it.
